Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart

 

This book, this type of story, is why I read. Holy shit, the emotions this book made me feel. Sadness, despair, occasional hope, depressing inevitability, claustrophobia. Which all put together doesn't sound much fun, does it? Well, no, it's not fun. At all. But I still can't recommend it enough.

It starts with Shuggie Bain aged about 15 living in a one room bedsit all alone. It introduces him and his lonely, pretty hopeless, existence and then, after the first chapter, it goes all the way back to Shuggies's mother, living in her parent's flat with husband and three children including Shuggie aged about one. Yep, it totally starts the way it means to go on.

Agnes, the mother is beautiful and has always been beautiful. But a totally self destructive alcoholic. Shuggie's father is Shug, a taxi driver and total bastard. Slowly and deliberately destroying Agnes mentally, emotionally and physically. Using his taxi service as a way to pick up women as often as possible and not really being subtle about it either. 

And then there is another man, Eugene. I hate Eugene. I hate him SO much. He is the worst. There is a bit in this book which will always be one of those moments where you could read it 1000 times and be wishing and willing for it to turn out differently. But it won't. You know it won't but the hope you will feel will cause you actual physical pain. And I will never ever forgive Eugene for it..

It's so heartbreaking from begining to end. You feel such hope for Agnes and yet a horrible inevitability for where it's going to go. I mean, you know from the beginning (and the blurb, I think) that she dies before Shuggie is an adult. It's no surprise ending. But this just creates even more of an achey sad feeling in your chest the whole way through. Eventually her family abandons her one by one, except for Shuggie who is too young to go anywhere. They all love her but she's too hard to be around. And you can only be relieved on their behalf that they have broken free from her destructive orbit. All the people around her use her or hate her or want to break her. As I said, totally heartbreaking.

And this is Douglas Stewart's first novel, for goodness sake. People with this much ability to put together a novel make me so envious. The book won the Booker Prize in 2020. I can't imagine another one more deserving.